Diana Brewer is a cantorial student in the aleph ordination program. she leads prayer services regularly at the jewish community of amherst.

Omer Day 46 נצח שבמלכות Netzach SheBeMalchut

Endurance. Leadership. Active Principle. Eternity. Day-to-Day. Victory within Sovereignty. Selfitude. Actualization. Reality. Indwelling Presence. 

An aside before I launch: I love that my iPad auto-fills the Hebrew as I type the attributes of the day. 

Now, then... Down to business! True to form, I really am experiencing myself as a different person during this final week of the Count. I am seeing in myself a fuller Actualization of my Selfitude. It’s a little hard to track, especially in the blur that has characterized the last couple of weeks of life WD (With Dog), but I am also aware that I have had an Active part in realizing whatever new Reality I am occupying. 

Part of it definitely has directly to do with the presence of the dog. You see, I grew up surrounded by animals, and was always filled with a deep love of animals. I lived with a dog and two cats throughout my childhood. I had other pets - birds, rodents, an iguana, for goodness sake. I spent many hours each week in horse barns from the time I was 10, surrounded by horses and dogs. I talked with birds outside. Much of the time, as a kid, I felt somehow more connected to the animal world than the human world. I thought for a while that I would become a vet when I grew up.

So, here we are in a household in which I’m the only person who has reallly spent time in animal culture, and I have to be a Leader. I have to be a Leader for the dog, and I have to be a Leader for the rest of my family. I have to be mindful to not be a control freak - I promise you that is not beyond me, and I see it trying to ooze through the cracks at times.  There’s nothing like being an Active Participant in your life to bring you into a new Reality of self.

Life WD takes Endurance.  It is really hard work. And I am willing to do it. I have a strong sense that experiencing myself in this version of my Selfitude is a big part of what gives me the strength that I need to keep greeting the Day-to-Day of this with enthusiasm (mostly...). 

May you be blessed with Active participation in your growth into new levels of Selfitude. May you enjoy this week of seeing where you’ve grown and the Victories that have brought you into your new Reality. 

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Netzach as Will. I had to carry her out of the car that day...

Omer Day 47 הוד שבמלכות Hod SheBeMalchut

Omer Day 45 תפארת שבמלכות Tiferet SheBeMalchut