hazzan Diana Brewer was ordained through the aleph ordination program. she leads prayer services regularly at the jewish community of amherst, and is on the staff of the davvenen leadership training institute.

Omer Day 46 נצח שבמלכות Netzach SheBeMalchut

Eternity. Perseverance. Continuance. Active Force. Day-to-Day. Endurance within Reality. Dignity. Selfitude. Give-ceiving. Actualization. Sovereignty.

Continuance. That's a new one for my list, courtesy of my dear little meditation book I have referenced a few times. When I first read it this morning, way too early, jet-lagged in another time zone, I was still to groggy to see the significance of the word. Then as I sat in a luxuriously long meditation, the smile or recognition came over me that tells me I have hit upon something to connect to the day. Continuance.

Today's reading was about following through in support of someone we are helping to find the Dignity of a new life in recovery. I have spoken of this before - the gift of being a sponsor. I get to be there every day for someone who has lost all Selfitude and Dignity, who has disconnected from Reality, and to witness their process of learning to be an Active Force in their own lives. I get a ring-side seat as they learn the process of Day-to-Day self care and Perseverence that restores their Sovereignty as an independent agent no longer subject to constant craving. I help them develop a relationship with the Eternal, the ultimate source of this restoration. This is one of the most blessed experiences of Give-ceiving I have in my life today.

I wrote yesterday of my increasingly colorful life. While this is a wonderful thing, I also have to admit to a certain amount of overwhelm at times. My particular wiring sometimes causes me to fall out of the warm bath of gratitude for the wonderful opportunities that seem to be flowing my way these days, and to take a turn towards fear and feelings of inadequacy. How, you might ask, does one make a leap to feeling inadequate as a response to being shown just the opposite? Good question, I'll let you know if I figure it out. The question I need to focus on is "What to do about it? " Today is what I do about it. I Persevere in the endeavors that lead to this blooming Reality. I become an Active Force in my thought life, giving my fearful thoughts a hug and guiding them back to gratitude. I notice the times I feel wholly adequate, give thanks, and slip back into my Selfitude. 

A last thought for today. This weekend I am helping a dear friend celebrate her wedding. As we counted the day together last night, we acknowledged the wonder that the first celebration of the weekend fell on the evening of Netzach SheBeMalchut. Way cool. May Kallah and the Kallah be blessed with Continuance of Give-ceiving. May they be an Active Force in the Actualization of each other's dreams. May their Day-to-Day be clothed in Dignity.

And for the rest of you! May you be blessed today with Perseverence in the Reality of your life. May you experience the beauty of Continuance of Give-ceiving. May the Eternal fill you with the Dignity of Selfitude. 


Omer Day 47 הוד שבמלכות Hod SheBeMalchut

Omer Day 45 תפארת שבמלכות Tiferet SheBeMalchut