hazzan Diana Brewer was ordained through the aleph ordination program. she leads prayer services regularly at the jewish community of amherst, and is on the staff of the davvenen leadership training institute.

Day 14 מלכות שבגבורה Malchut SheBiG'vurah

Dignity. Sovereignty. Selfitude within Strength. Discipline. Restraint. Power.  Structure.

Malchut. A place of fluidity of giving and receiving. I am aware that I play many roles as a giver, which ability I am given through much rigorous Discipline. I am doing lots of teaching these days - a great joy for me. I so love seeing the light of understanding dawn on someone's face as a musical phrase they have been struggling with starts coming into focus or a phrase of text starts to take on deep meaning.

I also continue to cherish each and every minute I give to people that I sponsor in the recovery program I've been active in for nearly 20 years. There is nothing that parallels the feeling I get from giving away that which I have received. Sponsoring is particularly poignant for me. When asked recently what that experience is like by a friend who is not familiar with recovery life, I responded that I get the privilege of taking someone's hand, walking them step by step out of she'ol, and loving them until they learn to love themselves. Someone did the same for me, and continues to walk by my side as I continue along the winding path of my life.

These are two particular areas in which I am deeply aware of the constant two-way flow of giving and receiving. Once, when I was gushing thanks to my first sponsor for all that she gave to me, she responded (without missing a beat), "Oh, Diana! I get so much more from you than you could ever hope to get from me." I thought, for sure, that she was crazy. The morning I wrapped up my first call with a new "sponsee", I understood. The same has been absolutely true of my teaching experiences. 

There is no way I could have these opportunities without the massive amount of Discipline that goes into learning my art, gaining and maintaining a strong footing in recovery. And through these processes of giving of what I have received, what I ultimately receive is an increasing sense of the fullness of my Self. That's what I call Selfitude.

May you be blessed today with the chance to receive and give and receive. May you be blessed with awareness of the Strength you possess that makes this possible.


Omer Day 15 חסד שבתפארת Chesed SheBeTiferet

Omer Day 13 יסוד שבגבורה Yesod SheBiG'vurah