hazzan Diana Brewer was ordained through the aleph ordination program. she leads prayer services regularly at the jewish community of amherst, and is on the staff of the davvenen leadership training institute.

Day 49 מלכות שבמלכות

Malchut SheBeMalchut. 

What a blessed day. We have journeyed together every day over the past seven weeks counting, learning, exploring, healing, considering. I thank you sincerely for taking this journey with me. Every person who has subscribed or told me they've been following my writings has touched me more deeply than you could ever know. I hope that you have received even a small fraction of the learning and growth from reading these writings that I have from writing them. 

I have heard Malchut referred to in many ways. Two that stand out to me today are 1) "Maximal Actualization", given to me by my mentor, Hazzan Jack Kessler; and 2) "The Fruit of One's Labors" (Rabbi Dr. Jay Michaelson).

As I shared the other day, I have very much felt the cumulative effects of this Omer exploration. I can say that, beyond the shadow of a doubt, I have become more fully actualized as a person over the course of the last seven weeks. I, myself, have become the Fruits of My Labors. I can say with equal certainty that I have grown much stronger in my connection with G8d. I am more aware of the constancy of Divine Presence and more consistent with my choice to Dwell Within Divine Presence than I have ever been. 

Over these seven weeks, I have struggled with parenting and been driven to seek shelter, inspiration, and peace within the Divine Presence to an extent that it has finally begun to become an automatic action. I have begun teaching a music theory course that I designed, and have seen my veritable flock of students grow in confidence and skill. I have seen my ability to show up to this writing every single day without fail, encouraged by the knowledge that there were people looking forward to reading my thoughts each day. I have seen shortcomings and experienced my ability to be changed through sincere prayer. I know all of this is connected to this process of being so attuned to a daily intention - a kavannah to hold on to - over these weeks. Once again, a mysterious mitzvah has come to life in my world in a way I could never have imagined. 

I invite each of you to take some time to reflect upon the ways you are more fully Actualized in yourself than you were seven weeks, seven months, seven years ago. I invite you to reflect upon the ways in which your connection with Divine Presence has enabled that Actualization, and the ways in which your Actualization has enabled your connection with Divine Presence.  Malchut SheBeMalchut. I invite you to bask in the gratitude of everything that has brought you to This Moment.

Shabbat Shalom. 



3 Times a Day

Day 48 יסוד שבמלכות